Relapse is something that we don't talk enough and openly about, and yet it's a really common part of recovery. And recently I was reading an article by Jack Vigin, whose brave story just reminds us that setbacks do not define you. It's how you choose to keep moving that does. And in today's episode, we're going to explore why relapsing is not a failure, how to break free from the shame, and the importance of self-compassion towards that path to healing so um I really don't think and it's not it's not discussed enough that how difficult it could be to come back from an addiction so having a study the clinical hypnotherapy addictions can come about for a number of reasons and sometimes there's a common theme towards it, which I won't go into today, but it's often seen as you're weak. You have this addiction, you're brought up in a beautiful family. How do you have this addiction? It's shame, it's shame, it's shame, it's shame. And that doesn't help the person that's trying to deal with that addiction. And it's going to be really hard for somebody to come out of that addiction if somebody just keeps, you know, you're weak, you're weak, you failed, you failed, get over it, whatever. That addiction is probably covering something. It's probably masking something. And it's not just as easy as waking up and thinking, yep, cool, like I'm done. I don't drink anymore. I don't do drugs anymore. or whatever that addiction is. And I think there really needs to be more education around that addiction. And I definitely will be doing some podcasts on this now that I do have that clinical hypnotherapy background behind me and go into depth and hopefully help you understand that addiction is there for a reason sometimes. It's to, you know, I remember somebody saying, you know, you're doing it to kill yourself. And the response was, no, I'm doing it to stay alive because if I don't do these drugs, I probably will go and kill myself. So, you know, it's highly likely not what you think. And I think there just definitely needs to be... more sympathy and more assistance with people who generally want to overcome whatever that addiction is. And, you know, it takes, it takes courage to be vulnerable and to put yourself out there like that. And when I was reading his article, I'm just like, oh my gosh, like don't go hating on yourself. Like don't, you know, say that you're a failure like that's not it at all like your article is going to be helping somebody because there's probably highly likely that is someone that's going to be in the same circumstances as you that has maybe tried rehab and then relapsed so he's not going to be the first person who's done it and he definitely won't be the last but it's the support that we need to show those people who are trying to to get better and trying to overcome that addiction and it's not going to be an instant fix especially if there's you know something underlying as to why they have that addiction for example trauma um you know and I said for some people it's a matter of staying alive um by by having that addiction you know they might be scared that they will pass away because you know they were doing the drugs so they don't do something really which I know that sounds contra Intuitive like you do drugs and you can pass away, but that's how you know, that's people's mindset sometimes. So Yeah, I really don't think that we should be so judgmental with addictions. So probably there's lots of things but today is just in particular about addiction and being in that public and Being that public figure, it's even more difficult because you have more eyes on you. Like if I had an addiction, not really kind of many people know me. So it's not like I'm going to be plastered upon the internet. But, you know, Jack Vigin or anybody that, you know, is kind of famous and well-known, It's going to be exacerbated because there's so many eyes and, you know, the media is out there and the media will probably go, hey, yep, look, back in rehab again because they've, and we've seen that. We do see articles like that and I think it's disgusting. It's not helpful at all and, you know, it's there to make people their money, like the articles are there. So the newspapers or, you know, media can make money from that at the detriment of the person that, you know, they're putting in front of that. So I think that's definitely something that needs to change. Just add that on my list of things to do. But relapsing can be just a normal part of the process. It doesn't necessarily have to be failure. So, yep, a relapse. What was the connection this time? What made me do that? And can I avoid that situation again? So it's evaluating how that happened. You have support services out there. You have psychs. You have counsellors. Hypnotherapy can play a really big part in that as well. And that's another reason why I studied it. Like a lot of our clients that were coming to us for example in a family law matter the relationships were ending because of some sort of addiction so that could be drugs alcohol gambling sex like so many different things and it was that addiction that had killed that relationship so it's like right so I need to I want to understand this better and what other support services are out there for people who would generally want to overcome this addiction so that's kind of how the whole holistic chemotherapy RTT therapy, you know, studies had come about. So it's definitely something that I will be doing further study on. I know the prior podcast, I said I'll be easing up on the study. But in relation to like addictions and grief, that's something that's relevant to the work that I do. And I would like to go into more depth with that. um but you know a setback is just an opportunity to learn and grow and strengthen and that's a setback from anything that doesn't just have to be like a relapse from an addiction and as I mentioned before it's how you come out of that it's like yep okay I've done it this was a trigger let's try and eliminate that trigger for my life next time and let's have another crack at it it's not like yep I'm I'm gonna have this addiction forever just happens that's the type of person that I am you know let's go back to doing whatever it is so um yeah we need to support the people that are really really trying to change um their lives um I think it's a danger to not discuss that the shame and guilt that the the person may be feeling as I said it would have been really hard for to jack to have had article and saying hey yep like you know eight weeks later whatever it was and you know I've relapsed like that's hard and he's not the only person that has happened to like he you know it might have been a week like congratulations you got to this six eight week mark whatever it is yay like you know celebrate that and it's really just going okay well you know this was my trigger I know not to do that next time you know How can we avoid that or what can I learn from that? But that constant feeling of shame and guilt can lead to just a cycle of negative behaviour and it can make it even harder for that person to get that help or want to go get that help if we just keep shaming, shaming, shaming, shaming, shaming them. Sometimes we don't mean to do it. Sometimes we may mean to do it. I would suspect that the media probably intend to make somebody feel shit so they can sell an article. But, yeah, we really can't have that person having that negative behaviour because that's not going to be helpful in them overcoming whatever that addiction is. Self-compassion is a massive issue. So if you perhaps have relapsed, just have compassion. It's like, yep, okay, you know, this doesn't define me. Let's learn from it. What can I do differently? Do I just need to go back to do the same thing? Because that was working. It was this, that, you know, why it stopped working. whatever that is, but you need to have compassion within yourself that she happens, let's get back on the horse and try again. And the people around you, the people that you surround yourself with are going to be super important because they're the people that are going to help you through it. If you were surrounded by negative people who just keep putting you down and saying that you're failing and whatever else, they're probably the people that you don't need to be around. You need to be around people who are going to support you and show your compassion so we can get you back on track um so you know that could mean changing friends, spending less time with certain friends. It might mean keeping a distance from family members perhaps or work colleagues. You might want to join, like, you know, there can be community groups sometimes that you can physically go to. Just consider the people that are around you who are going to help your recovery and the other people who are not going to help your recovery because you're going to be wanting to be with the people that are going to help you, not the people that are not going to help you. You need to spend as minimal time with those people who would not move you forward because that's just not going to benefit you. And reach out when you're struggling and don't be ashamed of that. Don't isolate yourself. I've been running some workshops lately and, you know, the last one had like two hundred and twenty people or something registered for it. And there was somebody opening on there considering suicide. Like, and I'm like, wow, for you to keep this a secret for so long. And I actually kept checking up on him. I'm like, right. I worked out. who he was, found him in my system. And I was just emailing him, hey, like, you know, I don't feel comfortable after the conversation that we had, like in the webinar, just want to make sure that you're okay. You have all these options around you. I'd recently done assist training through Lifeline and he was actually an assist leader. So he was aware of all of that. I'm like, hey, okay, let's go back to your training. Like it was going to happen. at any time. So, and again, I'm not just talking about addictions. I'm just talking about that was in a family law setting. So be really mindful that if you are struggling, you need to reach out, but you need to reach out to the right people. If you reach out to somebody that you know is just going to shoot you down, probably don't reach out to that person. Find somebody else that's going to be able to help you to move forward. So Just be mindful of that. So, I mean, there's so many different other things that I could mention in this podcast. It was just really a quick one that I wanted to do because when I saw the article, it just resonated with me and, like, it's not – okay for you know you to feel shame if you feel that that's okay but like let's deal with that and let's move on so if you are struggling with with anything please don't have that shame please don't have that guilt acknowledge that you need help beyond what you can do for yourself reach out to the right people have the right support people around you limit energy and time with the people who are not going to support you and bring you forward. And just know that, you know what, like it happens. So long as you learn from, you know, that setback, you know, let's jump back on the horse and do that again. But please be mindful, there is highly likely somebody else going through the exact same thing. And I have no doubt that somebody would have read that article who is in that situation. So has relapse once twice three times whatever it might be and would have been really connected to it so know that your story can also help others and when you are on the other side of that addiction and it's no longer a concern you you could be there for the people that are going through an addiction because you've you've lived it you've you know you've experienced it so consider um on the other side of that the lives that you might be able to help um as well so I guess just please reach out to the right people if you do need a little bit of extra assistance I know this time of year can be really hard it was probably more before the new year like around that Christmas time it can get really difficult for people so if you are still struggling please reach out there are a number of places that you can reach out to we have some on our website and I'll put some in the show notes as well if you need some immediate assistance. And, you know, if you fall, that's cool. Let's just get you back out there and going again. So, yeah, please share this with anybody who may be going through an addiction and feeling like they are a failure because, you know, they're perhaps relapsed. Tell them that they're not. Be there for them. I know that in the webinars I have been asked to share do extra webinars, podcasts on how to help people like that. So that is on the list of things to do. I imagine it's going to be pretty heavy and I'm probably going to have to break it up into a few different podcasts to do with the topic, I suppose. So this one was just the intention of, hey, it's cool. yep, let's just get you back on that horse and, you know, let's try again. That's the most important part. So please share this with somebody who you think might need it if they happen to have relapsed. And just know that you're not a failure and please be there for your friends or your family if they're needing that extra support from you. And if you don't feel that you're the right person, please make sure that you hook them up with somebody like Lifeline, Beyond Blue, somebody in their local area that they might be able to physically go to just so they don't feel so abandoned. So hopefully that's helped some people out there today. It was probably a bit more of a heavy podcast. Sorry, probably maybe should have warned you at the start of that. But yeah, please do look after yourself and please be kind and I will catch you guys next time.
